Why is this woman smiling?

Look closely

This is a multiple choice test. This woman is smiling because:

A) The bottle of port by her left elbow is less than half full.
B) She has the irritating self-satisfaction of someone who knits better than the dunce who taught her, 4 months ago.
C) Her favorite color is yellow, and this yarn is, well, yellow.
D) This is her very first Fair Isle, her first garment, she's completely winging it (no pattern, no reference books, no charts, no lessons), and it looks like this:


The object of my rage

or E) All of the above. You may enter your answer in the comments section. I am feeling cranky and stingy and will NOT be sending the winner Koigu or Red Heart or twine this time. Besides, I think we all know what the answer is. And who her teacher was.

I am pissed. But what was I to expect from The Woman Who Can Do Everything (brief list: woodworking, baking, sewing, stained glass, gardening, raccoon husbandry, trashing huge databases...) Next time someone tells me they just want to learn to knit so they can make a couple of goofy garter stitch scarves for Christmas presents, I am sorry. The answer is no.

Or maybe I will just teach you wrong.